When it Rains it Catches on Fire

by aquagnome22

So go figure most of Western Washington is underwater. 

It took me nearly an hour and a half to drive the six miles or so between my office and my apartment.  The city where my office is located is underwater, the city next door, also underwater.  The highway outside my office which connects to the freeway that takes me home.  UNDERWATER.  Once I got home I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and decided I’m not leaving the apartment for the next 13 hours.  Sorry I’m busy being warm, eating carbs and cheese, and making fun of our ridiculous local reporters who cannot pronounce half the cities affected by flooding.

My mothers side of the family, who live in the budding metropolis of Centralia, in Lewis County (home of meth labs, outlet malls, and Indian casinos) are also bracing for flooding.  My cousin, who lives in Portland, was in route to help my aunt and uncle raise furniture and clear the house of valuables as flooding is pretty much imminent for their house.

In preparation of helping out his family he packed up his car with supplies and then headed over to a store to buy a pair of rubber boots. Because obviously a good pair of rubber boots is in order when prepping for flood warfare (duh). Imagine his “delight” when he excited the store to find his car on fire. No really.  On fire.  W-T-F.  Now Jonathan, being the OCD and well prepared guy that he is, had a fire extinguisher in his car which he used until the fire department arrived but still. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Good Lord! 

Luckily for him he’s friends with a state trooper who picked him up and helped him get a rental car.  And even now, hours later,  he still isn’t in Centralia because I-5 is closed because the freeway is oh wait that’s right. . .underwater.

But just in case you think I’m devoid of holiday spirit I bring you Alexa Claus and the Wrath of Water Damage (not that you can see it but I’m trying to find some humor about having a river running under our drywall).

(Its a one size fits all. Don’t judge me)