In Which I Make Things Up And Freak Myself Out
This morning I had a minor freak out. Actually it started last night and just carried over to this morning because God forbid I act sane for more than 24 hours at a time.
Things happened this month money wise that do not usually happen, namely, I’m in the process of moving, the car decided to tell me to “suck it” this week, and then because I’m some sort of glutton for punishment/seeking revenge/like a challenge/over achiever/ why the heck not, I signed up for the PADI Assistant Instructor Program. Last night I set fire to a pile of cash just for the hell of it (kidding).
Typically, I anally monitor my credit cards because I’m convinced that some Nigerian money scammer/ meth addict will steal my identity and then go on some sort of online/Walmart shopping binge. This morning however I nearly freaked the hell out when I saw my current balance. It was a tad bit more than double its norm, and my mind started to race.
I started thinking that this is the first step into the world of debt, foreclosure, and bankruptcy (I don’t even own anything someone could foreclose on but whatever). From there I’d end up living in a house on wheels, only it wouldn’t have wheels anymore because I sold them to cover my meth fix. Later I’d be arrested for prostitution and my face would end up on one of those “many faces of meth” posters I saw at the DMV last year. My parents would disown me, my old friends would ignore me, and my new friends would be missing teeth and wondering if they can buy cigs with their WIC checks.
This led to me believing that everyone hates me, that I will be fired, and the world is coming to an end, and Becky is going to call me and tell me she can’t live with me and I’ll have to sell my body on old 99 to pay rent. Whew long horrible sentence.
Then somewhere in the madness of being completely whacked this morning I realized that my current balance is actually for two different bill cycles as I haven’t paid for April yet. I freaked out over nothing.
Good job me!
Crisis adverted, dyslexia and general ridiculousness strike again.
Oh and did I mention I’ll be homeless for a week or so at the end of this month? Yeah its exciting. Maybe I can get a van and park it under the viaduct until I can move. Awesome.
PS: In the spirit of spending money. I want this necklace. Its pretty and seaglass colored!
PPS: I also want some new clothes, a pony, some shoes (flats, pumas, and sandals), a lighthouse, dinner at someplace swanky, oh and a new car (which I have to get whether I like it or not)
PPPS: Nix the pony. I’ll take a trip to Roatan or Maylasia instead.