(insert non-ridiculous post name here because I sure as heck can’t come up with one”

by aquagnome22

Happiness is having drinks with your old boss (from my first job out of college, not that overglorfied cluster of lameness I just left) and finding out that nothing has changed and the same sh*tshow as always is still happening.  For example, one of my old account executives left his now ex wife in Mexico because she was jailed for dealing cocaine (my favorite story is about how he was stopped at the US/Canadian border for having coke on his drivers license. Gee how did that get there? Coke Elves?).  Or another tidbit I thoroughly enjoyed, another one of my old account executives really was making over 300k a year.  My salary was less than her quarterly bonuses, hell my salary was less than her SUV. 

Earlier this week I went to Los Angeles to meet my client.  I just like saying “well I went to Los Angeles on Tuesday for business” 

4am- Rise and Shine

6am- Arrive at airport

6:20- Irritate TSA.  Why yes thank you I am the twit who didn’t take her laptop out of the bag before I sent it through security.  Yes I know better.  The TSA agent, who probably has a bar stool named after her somewhere (no I don’t mean that in a nice way), gave me this look like “you are such a loser assclown” to which I told her I was smuggling 4oz bottles of contact solution in my company issued laptop.  I KID I KID.  Hell I’ll probably end up on the no-fly list. 

6:40- Starbucks

6:45- Ah crap I just used the term “raging douchebag” in front of a family while drinking my Starbucks and being obnoxious while being on the phone with Gail

6:50- Board glorfied tin can and listen to the girl behind me break up with her boyfriend via cell phone (no seriously) 

7:20- Plane leaves airport

8:45- Breakfast consists of some sort of BISCOFF (derranged biscotti) and 7Up

9:45- Land in LA

10am- Meet my boss for the first time.  Because its cool to get into a stranger’s car at LAX 🙂

10am-11am- Experience the finest of LA traffic

11am-4pm- Client time.  I arrived and they were like “we have healthy snacks for you” and all I could think was “Jesus I’d kill for a burger and coke” but no. . .they had diet coke and trail mix available for the first two hours.  So instead I was like “oh well thank you I will surely enjoy snacking on your fine edibles of dried apricots and dates because apparently I am a hamster”  <– Okay I didn’t really say that. 

5pm-ish- Arrive back at LAX

5:15- Through security. TSA in LAX sooo much better.

5:40- Boudin!  I love me some Boudin.  I successfully spilled clam chowder all over myself and my sweet new suit.

5:50- Plane boards

6:30- Plane leaves

7:40- Child laughs at me as I grasp arm rest due to turbulence.  Because I’m a freak.  I debate the merits of drinking during my flight.

9:50- Me standing on the wrong floor of the effing parking garage swearing the airport for making you pay for your stupid parking on only one floor.  Flipping parking Nazis and their stupid pay machines which are only located one ONE FLIPPING FLOOR.   My parents were on the phone with me and they were like “umm maybe we should let you go. . .you sound a bit crazy right now”

The trip was actually pretty awesome .  Working for a company that finds me valuable enough to have me travel to meet the client is awesome.  Have my head boss (I have three at the moment) get down on his hands and knees and bow down to my hiring manager to thank her for hiring me was awesome.  <- no lie.

I have 15 minutes to shower and change and look cute. “Cute”  

PS- I think the best part of my trip to LA was when I saw a reflection of me in my suit while waiting for the tram at the airport, and I thought, oh gosh maybe I finally made it 🙂  Here’s hoping 🙂