Where I Rant About Food. . .

by aquagnome22

Pimento Cheese. . .oh-my-gwads.  Pimento Cheese = WTF.  Sure I’ve heard of it, hell my Dad lived in North Carolina and Arkansas thus I’ve heard of a lot of Southern food mixtures that come from questionable origins (usually involving pig parts). Somewhere on the family tree someone helped start Piggly Wiggly** (see I’m a little country. . .or something), I went to camp in Alabama, visted the Grand Ole Opery, and I even did most of my college grocery shopping in IDAHO (this is my pathetic attempt to say I understand the South. . .though Idaho is not in the South even though half the population is named Darrel)  But for the love of everything that is holy, why in God’s name must cheese be mixed with mayo.  In fact how is it that people can argue about the  “best” type of mayo to use to molest/ruin a good block of cheese (Duke’s brand apparently)?

Why am I one this completely worthless tangent?  Today I came across this article on NPR.com (NPR is a topic that deserves its own entry. . .Eurovan driving hippies) and learned all about Pimento Cheese and how one might destroy perfectly good cheddar. In fact, if you’re really daring you can use pickles, various forms of pimentos, maybe even a dash of . . .bacon (because pork = seasoning ? ).

I just asked a co-worker about this and she said “Oh no, we’re Cajun people (in reference to her family), we don’t do that. . .that sounds like Alabama-ish or something. . .Gross”

In the author’s defense his recipe for pimento cheese uses garlic. And as we all know, a real meal isn’t complete without some ridiculous amount of garlic (unless it includes mayo infused cheese. . .and I swear to God if bacon is involved . . .shudder).

This reminds me of Amalah’s Cookbook entry, in which we see 18 other ways that cheese can be misused by people from the South.

Now really don’t get me wrong. I have family members who believe Cool-Whip and jello are their own individual food groups especially during the holidays, but mayo infused cheese is just nasty.

Okay I’m done now. 

**I know you’re jealous that your family member didn’t come up with the whole pig/apron/hat combo brand identity for a grocery store chain.