Goals for 2007
For 2007 I did not make any New Years Resolutions, unless you want to count my promise to continue growing my alcohol tolerance for Jenn’s bachelorette as a New Years Resolution.
For 2007 I promise to drink copious amounts of malt liquor and cheap rum to maintain a healthy alcohol tolerance. . .
But I do have a few goals for the next year. . .
5 Goals for 2007
1. Lead a douchebag free life: I think 2006 was fairly filled with douchebags and douchebag behavior. Thus, there is a ban on DB-ness this year. I think those found guilty of DB-ness shall be sterilized and beat with a wiffle bat.
2. Complete another 1/2 marathon – I like medals and free t-shirts what can I say?
3. Complete my first triathalon- Because I want to pay to punish my body
4. Finish my dive master certification- This should have been done ages ago. . .
5. New Job: This is a biggie, as the very thought of having to meet with my boss on Friday makes me want to have a seizure and bang my head against something sharp.
However, this week I can’t seem to hold intelligent conversation or stop laughing at inappropriate moments.
It started last night, I had lost my ability to speak in sentences that actually made sense. I felt like I was taking crazy pills and my brain was in a fog. All I could do was smile and giggle. And today when I was called to schedule an interview I felt like I was speaking mindless gibberish.
Interviewer: We’d like to set up a time to see you this week if possible
Me: I LIKE CRAYONS
Interviewer: Do you know where our office is located?
Me: PANTS FIRST THEN SHOES. FERNS ARE TASTY
Interviewer: Yes we will see you on Friday then. . .
Me: Sweet Jesus I promise I’m normal please hire me, give me normal vacation days and a 401k
Gwads help me.