Goals for 2007

by aquagnome22

For 2007 I did not make any New Years Resolutions, unless you want to count my promise to continue growing my alcohol tolerance for Jenn’s bachelorette as a New Years Resolution. 

 For 2007 I promise to drink copious amounts of malt liquor and cheap rum to maintain a healthy alcohol tolerance. . .

 I’m kidding.

But I do have a few goals for the next year. . .

5 Goals for 2007

1. Lead a douchebag free life:  I think 2006 was fairly filled with douchebags and douchebag behavior.  Thus, there is a ban on DB-ness this year.  I think those found guilty of DB-ness shall be sterilized and beat with a wiffle bat.

2. Complete another 1/2 marathon – I like medals and free t-shirts what can I say?

3. Complete my first triathalon- Because I want to pay to punish my body

4. Finish my dive master certification- This should have been done ages ago. . .

5. New Job:  This is a biggie, as the very thought of having to meet with my boss on Friday makes me want to have a seizure and bang my head against something sharp. 

However, this week I can’t seem to hold intelligent conversation or stop laughing at inappropriate moments.

It started last night, I had lost my ability to speak in sentences that actually made sense.  I felt like I was taking crazy pills and my brain was in a fog.  All I could do was smile and giggle.   And today when I was called to schedule an interview I felt like I was speaking mindless gibberish.

Interviewer:  We’d like to set up a time to see you this week if possible

Me: I LIKE CRAYONS

Interviewer: Do you know where our office is located?

Me: PANTS FIRST THEN SHOES. FERNS ARE TASTY

 Interviewer: Yes we will see you on Friday then. . .

Me: Sweet Jesus I promise I’m normal please hire me, give me normal vacation days and a 401k

Gwads help me. 

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