Off the the Wilds of the Palouse
In less than 24 hours I will be on a plane to the snowy wheat field tundra of the Inland Northwest. I will be flying on a plane called the “Bomardier Q200” not to be mistaken as a real plane since Alaska Airlines has nicely informed me that this is a PROP PLANE.
My grandmother is freaking out that I will lose/abandon her in the airport. I am freaking out that I’m in charge of an 85 year with bad balance and enough meds in her purse to keep most of South King County medicated for months.
I realized that since we are flying before 10am it may not be considered appropriate to take Grandma to the airport bar. So perhaps I’ll just pick up a few airplane shots and spike my Starbucks while waiting for my plane-o-terror.
Then again perhaps I’ll just take a lorazapam and ignore the whole situation until we get off the plane. I swear if they land that sucker in Idaho I’m going to be pissed . Idaho. . .shudder.
I’d also like to take some time and thank Amazon.com for notifying me one whole day before I leave that my mother’s Christmas gift is backordered until . . .March. Fabulous. Thanks Amazon! When I purchased this item you said you were instock and that you would ship it within three days. One week later you are suddenly out of stock. THAT ROCKS. Guess I’ll be doing some last minute shopping at Idaho’s most interesting store TRI-STATE. <–These guys also use the extra cool advertising slogan of “We’re From North Idaho and It Shows” To hell if I know who thought that one was a good idea . . . I have so many inappropriate non-pc remarks about this. . .
In Tri-State’s defense, there are few stores where you can purchase your running shoes, tent, crossbow, dutch oven, wasp killer, and horse shoes all in one place. Tri-State can help you with all of those needs and throw in some snow chains, dehydrated jerky, and some scented candles just in case.
Back to Amazon, somehow these clowns were still able to ship out my new mp3 player a week early. I pray it gets stuck in Denver so its not sitting in front of my apartment for the next six days.
Tonight the girls and I are going out all fancy like for my B-day and to pick up some well dressed men with 401ks. Our night will go as follows
7pm Arrive at Destination
7pm-10 Drink/Eat/Make fun of people/take pictures/make fun of people/Drink