This Christmas I’d Like a Transvestite Pony

by aquagnome22

Every Christmas and spring I go through the joys of finding the perfect gifts for my younger cousins.  Younger meaning a seven year old girl and 13 year old boy.  Buying gifts for the 13 year old is cake.  He likes PS2 games and anything to do with war.  Buying gifts for the seven year old is always tough, mostly because I’m not a girlie girl, and I’m running out of Eloise and Barbie items to purchase.

But honestly, look at the BS they are selling to girls now days?  I’m not going to purchase this stuff for a seven year old!

This Christmas I would like to teach my child how to look like a transvestite from NYC’s meat packing district.

Dora. . .She looks like she’s either going to eat you or hasn’t quite come off a bender of hallucingenic drugs.  Course can you really trust a girl who hangs out with a talking backpack, klepto fox, and a monkey named “Boots.”

Tell me this doesn’t look like a psychotic looking pig?  It has a pink snout and pink ears!This is a pony.  A pony that likes to sit on its hind quarters and eat small children.

Speaking of ponies, this is one of my favorites!  Butterscotch is an interactive plush pony.  She moves her head, blows air out her nose, eats carrots, neighs, and she comes decapitated in a box.  Thus, the makers (Hasbro) would like to remind you to assemble Butterscotch first as to not cause years additional therapy for your children.  (if you don’t believe me click on the link)

My future children are screwed.