Company Party Anyone?

by aquagnome22

This week I have between 2-3 holiday parties to attend. 

1. SCUBA Club Party

2. Company Party (I would sell a kidney to get out of this at the moment)

3. Nameless other party after the company party (depends on how much I need a drink after attending the above mentioned company party).  This party supposedly includes single men, with jobs, 401ks, and who don’t live with their parents!

The “Open Bar” at my company party is only “open” for an hour this year because and I quote “everyone got sooo drunk last year”  Um what?  Did I go to the same party?  Last time I checked we sat around and played trivia games and we were forced to interact with our coworkers.  Even our Russian Office Manager (who can drink all of us under the table) has no memory of drunk shennigans at last year’s shindig.  Then again maybe I’m just jaded, at the previous job there were multiple open bars at all parties, drug use, and a game called “Stay Away From the VP Who Likes To Make Inappropriate Comments and Stares at Your Hooters”   I’m sorry that isn’t appropriate is it?

My friend Matt volunteered to take me to my company party since I will be attending solo (damn Kerry for RSVPing to a wedding and Gail being in FL for work!).  Matt failed to mention this “awesome” idea (which I never agreed to) to his girlfriend who freaked out once she heard the plan.  Matt ended up explaining to her that we’re old friends and that the the closest we have ever gotten to romance/hooking up is the time he tried to tounge me after a homecoming dance in high school (while true, those are his words not mine).  


So this year I shall be braving my company’s holiday party alone.  Which really there is no bravery involved since I’m pretty much invisible at work most of the time.  Today we hit four days without my boss speaking a single word to me.  If I worked for a large company this might seem normal.  However, he has to pass my cube every time he leaves his office and he makes an effort to say hi to the girls sitting on either side of me.

Thus, this year I shall eat my ahi tuna, drink some wine, and take pleasure in knowing that soon my quarterly bonus check will be in hand and hopefully a new job offer will be on the table. . .

I need Starbucks. . .