Crazy Pills. . .lots of them

by aquagnome22

My clients are taking crazy pills today.   

So again the quick overview of what I do for a living. . .I work for a company that is  one of many vendors for an large international company.  To dumb everything down a little, we’re like the guys that sell a software system that tracks what happens at a Burger King.  Without us you just sell burgers, with us its like having “Big Brother” installed so you can stalk your employees and customers.    (what we do has nothing to do with Burger King. . .I just always use them as an example). 

This week we are onsite at a franchise property.  Franchises are either the easiest properties to work with or they are the properties that make me want to drink lye.  This week’s property makes me want to drink lye.   Two months ago I fought with the parent company about doing an early visit.   I knew from the beginning that an early visit would be a massive sh*tstorm and should be avoided at all costs.  Yeah well against my better judgment and a pathetic attempt to make some “Director of Nothing Important”  happy I caved and scheduled the property.   This morning I arrived to this message from my trainer: 

Trainer:  I had to fly on a 10 seat plane into the wheat fields, and they threw our luggage over a chain link fence.  I couldn’t find a cab because the cabs shut down at 6pm, it took two hours to get to the property.  They couldn’t find my reservation at the hotel.  Nothing is set up, the install isn’t done.  You sent me to hell! 

AWESOME. 

So as it turns out nothing was done.  We kind of knew this property would be a cluster, we just didn’t know that it was THIS BAD.    The parent company basically came in, ripped everything out, and then gave them a bunch of computers and said “have fun!”   Oh wait nothing is connected to anything? Your server doesn’t have internet access?  In fact all of your client stations are pointed to a network that doesn’t exist because you are no longer owned by that company?! Oh well. . .good luck with that.    

I was not happy.  I called my bigwig contact to discuss the property.  I was nice, I wasn’t combative, and I didn’t rip this woman’s soul out of her chest like I wanted.  However, she did not offer me the same level of polite chitchat.  

I feel sorry for her fellow passengers (she was currently flying to the above mentioned property) because as her happy little commuter prop plane was taxing to the runway she was giving me the third degree. 

Banshee Lady:  Well it’s like you guys don’t even care.  I wanted you there a week ago. You guys don’t seem to want to be a member of our team 

Me:  Well, it wouldn’t have done us any good to be there a week ago since you pulled out leaving them no support, the installations are not done, you scheduled training over the top of ours even though you told me you wanted the week of Dec 4th,  and now my trainer is sitting in the middle of bumf*ck nowhere with nothing to do and you just helped the property waste $4k. 

Okay I said everything above in a much nicer and more professional tone.  We’re friends now.  We’ll be having another call in a few weeks.  I’m sure it will give her enough time to find a new way to rip my head off.  I think the last thing I said to her was some sort of politically correct professional bull about how we should “schedule a time to sit down and find a proactive solution to meet the needs of our clients”  

Yeah I think I just threw up a little

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