I am a frustrated corporate puppet. Perhaps I should have named this blog “Corporate Puppet” instead of Axelapalooza. Maybe for the next blog. . .
I didn’t get the job. I blame the math test, because my interview itself went really well. There is a high possibility that the math test was illegal anyways but that isn’t the point. I mean seriously, how does asking me when two trains are 457 miles apart going to help a company in advertising sales?
Client: I want to reach X amount of people who are in X demographic. I want to spend X amount of money to do this and receive X amount of leads from this project.
Me: This reminds me of the time I had to figure out how long it would take a cow and a monkey to travel to Detroit. The monkey has a crossbow and a one rollerskate. The cow has a pogo stick and likes hookers. Who will reach Detroit first?
Client: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: I have absolutely no idea.
My parents say it is a blessing in desguise because the product the company “sells” is on the sketchy side of things. Its completely “legal”, but its one of those things that your anti-virus software hates. It is something that I would never in a million years put on my own computer (um bad sign yes?). And the company was sued a few times and changed its name. Oh and I have a tendency to not like working for people with questionable business ethics. Okay fine its better that I’m not working there but I really wanted the position for approximately 30 hours.
Last night in my haze of employment misery and after spending a day getting stupid e-mails from a coworker who makes me want to eat fiberglass insulation, I decided to go to Target. I was hungry. . .it was a bad decision. Hunger + loads of people= Angry Monkey. Trainees/ “New Team Members” rang up my purchases and the woman in front of me was wicked pissed because her ugly mittens were $4.99 damn it, not $5.99.
The only thing that could fix my ridiculous mood was eating a ridiculous amount of Taco Time, drinking a beer, and applying for more jobs. Well it didn’t really fix my mood, but the consumption of saturated fat and alcohol did at least make me feel a bit better.
This morning on the way to work I had the following conversation with Gail.
Me: I want to stand on the roof of my car, throw things, and scream at people
Me: I’m stuck in traffic, following a Prius with a sticker that says “My Dauchshund is Smarter Than Your Honor Student,” and my physical is today.
Gail: You know, as of 4pm the last person to feel you up is a woman
Me: Thanks Gail