Crazy Banshee Girl Enjoys Her Migraine Meds
Note to self: Slamming your fist on the bar and screaming for a double shot of the cheapest tequila in existence is an incredibly horrible idea. Apparently it is also a one way ticket to a multi-hour barf fest that leaves one with a bruise on their forehead from the toilet seat or from the sink. It also makes it incredibly difficult to eat anything other than Ramen for 36 hours. Add this with your monthly migraine and you’ve got a winner of a Sunday which moved into a really crappy Monday morning.
I would like to thank everyone involved (and kill someone named Matt for leaving habanero flavored Doritos open in my kitchen which I smelled when I woke up and thus wanted to barf again). I’d like to thank the others who told me it would be okay, put ice packs on me, and put up with me even when I’m sure most of what came out of my mouth was drooling forms of “I’m a miserable little banshee who wants to die” and “I love you, thank you for holding my hair back” and the final message was probably “please just turn out the light and leave me here to die in my bathroom”
So this morning I got up. Do I still have a migraine? Check yes. Do I still hate the evils of tequila? Check yes. Am I still an angry angry person. Also check yes. I would smack my hand into my forehead but I’m really hoping the swelling will go down before my interview today.
Interviewer: Why is your forehead oddly shaped and puffy?
Me: Well this weekend I decided to see if I could get my head to have the perfect indentation of a toilet seat. . .please hire me
And yes you may all laugh in the delight that the only thing I didn’t throw up this weekend was my stomach lining, but even that is up for debate. And yes you may laugh that my forehead is bruised. . .because really on some level its kind of funny right?
Also, my suit doesn’t fit. Great. Its too small (WOOHOO) which while awesome also means I have to attempt to look really great in my interview without my extra cool suit (which I really actually hate and want to burn because it has a high waist). I have a new suit picked out but I’m waiting for my next couple of paychecks before I make the purchase. I probably could have pulled off the whole suit thing today if the interview was all I was doing, but sitting in pools of fabric all day really didn’t excite me.
I’m trying to make it to the gym tonight since it obviously didn’t happen last night. In two weeks its ½ marathon time and I’d like to not be passed by any of the individuals in the walking event. Last week at the gym I was running on the treadmill and this guy kept looking at me. I tried to ignore him as he was probably older than my parents and obviously enjoyed dressing like a 1970s Burt Reynolds reject. But you know how you can see someone watching you from the corners of your eyes? It was just like that, and so for 30 minutes I ignored him. Finally he decided to turn off his treadmill and do some stretches which made his ass point towards me. Around that time I felt like being obnoxious and made a face at his backside. Then I almost fell of the treadmill. Boo.
So anyways back to the gym I go tonight. I enjoy running at night because I can watch TV and ignore the fact that I’m only one step away from being a hamster running on a wheel.
I hope everyone has a glorious week. I have already defended my professional honor to my boss twice today and it isn’t even noon. Boo. But that’s okay, I have an interview today and my fingers are crossed!