Maybe You’re a Great Story Teller (and I think maybe you’re just a twit)

by aquagnome22

Kerry says we should move to Italy and just go bake bread.  Why is this you ask? Because our jobs suck. 

In the last year I realized a few things about work.

1. I do not work because I enjoy the gray walls of a cube/pen.  I work because it pays for diving, and travel, and I enjoy talking to people from around the world.  It also pays for things like the excessive amount of liquor I purchased during our trip to
San Diego and the hooker costume I wore for Halloween.

2. I should not work in the software industry.  The company I work for could sell a software that specializes in the tracking of dildo sales and I still wouldn’t care. 

3. I hate spreadsheets.  They serve their purpose, but every project we have doesn’t require a bazillion spreadsheets.  Nor do we need to take 45 minutes discussing the wording used on these documents.  If you can read the language used on the Taco Bell menu then you can read the damn spreadsheet. 

4. And finally. . . I enjoy working with people who are funny, use colorful language, and like purchasing shoes.  I however do not enjoy working with people who like to make everything into a “life lesson,” feel the need to disagree with what everyone says, and talks about how they are thousands in credit card debt.  Or the ones who make it their personal goal to go just beyond whatever I did before a meeting so now I look like a total jackarse.  Telling me “oh I just did a little something extra, we’ll tell (insert boss name) that I locked the spreadsheet so you couldn’t include your work” makes me want to hit that person with a cactus.    I-AM-NOT-IMPRESSED.

5. I also do not enjoy receiving emails such as the one below:

I don’t want this to come out the wrong way, but when you are on personal calls I can’t concentrate at all.  I’m not sure what the deal is but I can’t help but listen to what you are saying.  When you’re on a business call, I don’t even notice.  Maybe you’re a good story teller??   

Headphones land saves me most of the time, but sometimes music is distracting if I’m having to concentrate on something complex. 

Anyway, it would be great if you could take longer personal calls on your phone in the conference room or outside.  Obviously we all have to take a call here and there at our desk, but longer ones should really be somewhere else. 



This “personal call” was a ten minute conversation I had in my cube talking with my father in regards to exciting things like my parents getting a new bed for the remodeled house, Thanksgiving, and the current election.  I’m an only child with a good relationship with my parents.  Yep, this means I might just talk to them periodically at work.  I may take one personal call a day, if its my parents I’ll stay at my desk, if its one of the girls I’ll typically leave the office.  Regardless, my coworker can pretty much suck it.  Her inability to focus is not my problem. I wasn’t talking in a loud voice, I wasn’t even talking about anything overly exciting.  But apparently her life is so mundane that listening in on my conversations is apparently quite entertaining, because I’m apparently a great “story teller”  

Well this story teller is getting a new job. . .maybe she can go make a spreadsheet on that one. . .suck it.