Dr Who? Who? What? Gimmie My Pills!
So its that time of year again. . .that time of year when I attempt to figure out a way to get out of my annual physical and still get a full year’s prescription of birth control pills. I am not a hooker, I just have migraines, anxiety, and bad cramps, the “no baby” thing is just an added bonus.
Earlier this year I axed my old doctor because she was a wee bit of inappropriate and was completely unhelpful. I was sad about this because her office is in walking distance of my office and I really liked having her as a doctor until the day she put me into a panic attack. So I switched doctors and found this wonderful woman who hasn’t accepted new patients in 10 years and blah blah blah she’s awesome. She is also insanely hard to get into thus when I had to go back awhile ago to get the above mentioned medication switched because of an increase of migraines I had to go to a new doctor. Imagine my surprise when I called today to schedule my annual physical and the conversation goes something like this
Phone Lady – The next available appointment is December 1st
Me- Its October
Phone Lady- Well that’s the next time she has available for your exam
Me- Well can’t I go to the other doctor?
Phone Lady- No, Dr X is your primary doctor
Me- I’ve seen her once for like 15 minutes, how does that make her my primary?
Phone Lady- Because you saw her first
Me- Okay so can I switch to the other doctor
Phone Lady- No
Me- But my other doctor isn’t available so why can’t I see the new doctor
Phone Lady- Because you saw the other doctor first
Me- But can I get my prescription refilled?
Phone Lady- Uhhh
Me- DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE BASTARD CHILDREN WHO DON’T KNOW WHO DADDY IS. I’LL HAVE TO WORK THE STREETS!?
I’m totally kidding.
Seriously, who is paying for this doctor’s visit? I mean hell the old doctor isn’t even the person who prescribed the new pills. GRR. The medical community makes me twitchy. Seriously between this and my dentist’s family being brought up on racketeering and theft charges I’m beginning to think I should just purchase my meds off the black market and do self diagnosis and home surgery with the help of WebMD.