Quarter Life Crisis with a Dash of Cat Lady

by aquagnome22

I’m in a crazy mood right now that can only be the result of not eating breakfast and a lot of caffeine. . .and maybe some over the counter drugs. . .okay maybe one of them isn’t considered over the counter. . .never mind. . .I took a quarter of a pill last night and its all legal! I have the paperwork to prove it!  

We are celebrating Kerry’s 25th birthday this Saturday instead of the 30th (her real b-day) because Kerry is going on a mission trip to Misssissippi with some Protestants to rebuild homes.  Its kind of like when my mom went to Europe with some Mormon group. . .only my mom doesn’t have an issue with Mormons. . .where was I? 

Anyways I realized today that HOLY CRAP WE ARE TURNING 25.  You know what that means!? I can finally use having a quarter-life crisis as an excuse!  In college I thought about how by the age of 25 we would all be so different, so mature, so damn freaking classy I wouldn’t be able to stand it.  Instead I live in a cubby, still have my cement lawn gnome, eat microwavable chicken nuggets, and drink coke, and watch Discovery Health Channel.  My God its like I’m still in college except now I have more bills and have to sell my eggs for rent money (okay not really, that’s kinda creepy).      

Oh and if one more person I know gets engaged, married, knocked up, or otherwise involved in some sort of Pottery Barn/Crate and Barrel- type relationship I will saw off my arms and have hooks implanted that can also double as wine openers (No offense to Jenn or Manda).  Because while you are all planning your cute little lives I will be planning the following:

Cat Lady 1 

The cats will love me and do my bidding.  Though we all know I will probably end up dead in a trailer in some unincorporated part of Lewis County surrounded by this: Cat Lady 2